Securing the perfect will of God in marriage. (How to know God's perfect will in marriage)

Well! Can we just walk up the street, church or school, grab anybody by the arm and proclaim to him/her. You're the one for me, the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh? can we?

Sure we can, but saying that's God's will for us is another ball game entirely.

So, how do we pray, seek, find and confirm the will of God in marriage?

Lam 3:27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

But first, what are the challenges we often face:

Not seeking at all: 
James 4:2 ...ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
Some persons don't see the need to seek the face of God towards their life partner at all, they may feel character and charisma is enough test. This assumption is responsible for 95% of the break ups we experience today.

Lately the number of break ups have truly skyrocketed and is over the roof, persons just hook up for physical likeness and dream of love, get married because they feel that'll keep their spouse committed, discover that their partner is not all they thought he/her was, try and fail to bring a lasting reconciliation, get fed up and file a divorce.

Do some even have the time to file divorce now? They just walk away.

Therefore, we must desire that our case be different and seek God's face.

Prayerlessness:
How can you seek the face of one you don't know? Seeking Gods face is not tied to marriage alone but in all facet of our lives, but we must have this Jesus in our lives first.

This is common to the persons who are not consistent seekers of God's face in every matter, they don't even know how to go about the prayers, they only seek for fear of making the wrong choice of a life partner.

they ask ones and twice and resolve their not been heard and we ask ourselves: Job 21:15 What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? and what profit should we have, if we pray unto him?

Note that they is no time too early to pray and there is no time too late either. If you mean business with God and seek his face, he'll be found of you. This I assure is a certainty. All you need is patience and persistence.

Insensitivity:
Well, after having prayed, do we know when the answer comes? Do we know how the answer look like?

This are tough questions because so many have prayed, gotten the answer but still go about asking for something they've already received.

Discernment is therefore essential in this process, there must be a sign, an inner peace, a change of situation. Something definite.

Idols in the heart: 
well so many many people pray "o God! I need your perfect will in marriage' while they are already eyeing or making advances towards another, this is absolutely not necessary.

Eze 14:4 Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Every man of the house of Israel that setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to the prophet; I the LORD will answer him that cometh according to the multitude of his idols;

Although bonds may have been created from long standing relationship like friendship and all a view, but if we can confess our idols and still seek his will in sincerity, he would of a certain reveal that which he holds best for us.

There are two ways to know God's will in marriage, there are directly and indirectly.

Directly

1. Intuition: Intuition is a natural ability or power that makes it possible to know something without any proof or evidence, every true prevailing Christian has this inner witness within them that tells them to go right or left without a reason but on complete obedience begins to see an unseen hand, writing a story.
   this is one of the many functions of the holy spirit. He shall guide us into all truth.
2. Revelation: Visions/trans: Revelatory visions portray scenery or dramatic circumstances to the human recipient while the human is awake. Some claim its now a television before them, other see themselves in the event and so on. It is quite rare and most likely, only persons of trained prophetic gifts receive this, although its obtainable to every believer. 

• Dreams: dreams are also scenery or dramatic circumstances to a human except the person is asleep. This is not always reliable and its recipient must seek for further confirmation lest it be just another dream of the night by the abundance of our work or thoughts.

• Inspired word: Like visions and dreams, this are event-like circumstances but in thoughts. You just got this idea, you weren't thinking of it or something.This is always accompanied by sequential experiences that further proves your mind experience.

Indirectly:
This could be through your pastor or prophetic directions, it could be with or without consultation.

It is not always the best since there are false prophets every where.

Even more, the strong assurance/conviction may not be there as much as when you get it first hand. Thus it is better to settle for direct inspiration or revelation and only confirm with them if need arises.

What is the certainty that one of these aforementioned is confirmed true?

There are confirmation processes to knowing who the perfect will for us is;

Inline with Gods word: Any revelation or intuition that is not inline with God's word is a counterfeit of God's perfect will, for even the devil appears as an Angel of light.

One of such  contradictions may be:
2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Compatibility: the now dispensation performs certain tests to ensure compatibility before marriage proper, some of this tests are;
blood group, genotype. This is to avoid future health conflict such a sickle cell anemia and rhesus factor (which can cause instant death to both mother and child during delivery due t blood lose)

God is never an author of confusion and cannot lead you to a partner with conflicting compatibility, it is therefore a check to discover and confirm if its Gods perfect will or not. 

You could site one or two circumstances where two persons with conflicting blood composition miraculously sees a change, it is possible but not always a guarantee. Other forms of compatibility is in lifestyle and can be found here.

Peace of mind: Pro 10:22 The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it. It cannot be Gods will and each thought of the person in question causes your heart to born in grief, fear or sorrow.

there'll be this peace of mind and assurance that God is involved and will take you through.

This is not the absence of physical challenges like family conflict and all, its the peace even amidst those challenges.

Patience: One quality of love is patience, some often ask this question "what if my spouse to be demands for sex?" Its an agreement you two must come to if such cases arise, and a word of caution, admittance to it does not guarantee your keeping your desired spouse.

Trust in God to keep that which is yours for you.
Its hard I know, but you've got more strength and resilience than you can imagine.

Untainted love/affection: you could find all the characteristics of untainted love in. 1 Cor 13:4-8. Were God explains all the characteristics of sincere love.

It is of great essence at this point to differentiate between three term, each which is always confused for the other.

Lust: a strong feeling of sexual desire. Sometimes our motivation could be more of lust than sincere love inspired by God.

Infatuation: to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration.

This is mostly to physical appearances such as height, shape, hair and other external qualities. This often fades with time.

Love: a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person. Pure love is one not corrupted by lust or infatuation, its beyond physical appearances or desire to exploit but rather to help, assist and cherish.

One common question today is; does God still speak?

1Tim 4:1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;

If you listen with the whole of your heart, you'll hear his still small voice telling you what to and what not to.

He is the perfect match maker.